Paul William Newman

Paul was born in Japan in 1934 to missionary parents Gordon and Nellie  Newman, (nee Armstrong).  There were five children in the Newman family - Bob, Paul, David, Doris and Ruth.  Both Bob and Paul were born in Japan, but before the start of WWII the family decided it would be prudent to move back to Canada, which is where the other three Newmans were born.  The Newman family moved quite frequently as Gordon was a minister and changed churches every few years.  Nellie had been born and raised in Japan to missionary parents.  She lived in Japan until she came to Canada for University where she met and married Gordon and then returned with him to Japan.  Having been educated as a teacher, Nellie was a somewhat stern woman but had a good sense of humour. She was fond of dishing out life-guiding phrases such as "Grace is a virtue, virtue is a grace!" Gordon died of cancer in 1958 and Nellie lived until her mid-90's although she lived with Alzheimer's for the last few years. One of Paul's claims to fame was that Nellie's mother's maiden name (Paul's grandmother) was Service, and she was a first cousin of the Canadian poet Robert W. Service, making Paul a first cousin - twice removed.

 

The Newmans were a loving family and Paul enjoyed a wonderful relationship with both his siblings and his parents.  His little sister, Ruth, says it was attributable to Paul having such an amenable personality that he got along with everyone! She does contend, however, that it was very clear to her that Paul was the favoured child in the Newman household. Although they moved around a fair bit, Paul spent the better part of his youth in the Ottawa valley and Peterborough areas of Ontario where he enjoyed playing all types of sports and worked summers in the lumber mills including the dangerous job of being a log driver on the Ottawa River. 

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When he was about 17, Paul and his family moved to Havelock, Ontario where he befriended a fellow named Jim Thompson, who had a 16 year old sister named Edith.  

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Paul was athletically gifted, which when combined with his affable personality and strong moral code, often meant that Paul became captain of the teams on which he played.  As a young man, Paul tried out for both the Boston Bruins and Maple Leaf hockey teams and Boston offered him a chance to play for their farm team.  In those days it meant he would have to travel by bus and train, which was both inconvenient and time consuming.  In addition, hockey practice was often held on Sundays, which Paul's father was fundamentally against. This bone of contention between Paul and his dad was something Paul mused about frequently over the years and with great regret.  Ultimately, Paul decided not to pursue hockey professionally and instead tried out for, and played on both the football and hockey teams while he attended the University of Toronto (U of T).

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Not only was Paul athletic, but he was also musical.  He had a lovely tenor voice and as a kid taught himself to play piano.  He particularly liked trumpet and saved up and bought what was considered an "old" trumpet at the time that turned out to be a limited edition 1930's Selmer trumpet like the one Louis Armstrong played. Paul played his vintage trumpet for the rest of his life. 

 

In discussions, Paul would typically declare that he was not a very academic person, and he was downright embarrassed about the lack of effort he made and the resulting grades he received in high school. He used to talk about the nicknames he and his friends had when he was a kid, often breaking into a self-deprecating laugh when he would reveal his nickname was "Skull", given to him not because he was a tough guy, but rather because it was short for "Numbskull".  He was a pool shark, often climbing out the window of the high school to skip class and to go the pool hall. As Paul matured, his dedication to academic achievements grew and in 1957, the year Paul and Edith were married, Paul received a B.A. with Honours in Philosophy and English from Victoria College (U of T). This was followed by a Bachelor of Divinity degree from Emmanuel College (U of T) in 1961 when he was also ordained as a minister in the United Church of Canada.  Interestingly, both of Paul's brothers (Bob and David) as well as his brother-in-law (Bill Close - Doris' husband) also graduated with Divinity degrees and were ordained in the United Church.  Paul's first charge as a minister was in Sioux St. Marie for a year before moving to Scotland so Paul could attend the University of St. Andrews, Scotland's oldest university.  Paul graduated in 1964 with a Ph.D.  and the title of his dissertation was: "The Ontological in the Theology of Paul Tillich".  

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Now that 'Numbskull' had fully crystallized into 'Dr. Newman', Paul was nothing short of dedicated to his chosen profession.  Upon their return to Canada, Paul served as Minister of Arden Pastoral Charge in Ontario for two years, then in 1966, Paul and Edith moved to Hong Kong with their two babies (Simone - 1 yr and Greg - a few months old), to serve as missionaries with Paul as Head of the Theology Division (now the Divinity School) at The Chinese University of Hong Kong.  As a professor at a Chinese University, Paul was fully expected to deliver his lectures in Chinese, so in typical Paul fashion, he hired a tutor and learned Cantonese, successfully fulfilling his lecturing obligations.  Paul was always a bit of a spectacle in Chinese restaurants once they moved back to Canada, as he loved to engage with the servers if they spoke Cantonese, sometimes resulting in the chef poking their head out of the kitchen in amazement. 

 

During their time in Hong Kong, even though Paul was very busy with his career responsibilities, he was still a hands-on and loving dad to his four children (Simone, Greg, Rob and Sean).  For example, the young family would often go on picnics and hikes through the mountain trails and on one particular hike, they watched the Queen Mary ocean liner burn in Hong Kong Harbour.  Dad was a fitness buff and for decades he would complete the Royal Air Force  5BX calisthenics program every morning.   One time in Hong Kong, he participated in an event where he had to swim across shark infested water followed by a scramble up the snake infested mountain on the other side.   When the kids asked him about the sharks, he gestured to the sky and said "Don't worry, that's what all those helicopters are looking out for".  In 1975 the Newman family moved back to Canada and from 1975 - 1988 Paul served as the McDougald Professor of Systematic Theology at St. Andrews College (University of Saskatchewan) in Saskatoon, SK.  In 1988, Paul and Edith decided that Paul's career had been in the drivers seat for long enough, and as a couple they decided to let Edith's career guide them to where they would go next. Edith moved to Victoria to be minister at Garden City United Church, while Paul initially stayed in Saskatoon to finish up his career in academia, bunking with Sean in a rented apartment for about 6 months before moving to Victoria. During this prolonged period of alone time, he got hooked on watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy while he prepared suppers and enjoyed those two shows right up until his last week of life.

 

After Paul joined Edith in Victoria, he accepted a position to serve as National Secretary for Interfaith Dialogue with the The United Church of Canada from 1991 to 1994, traveling back and forth between Toronto and Victoria. ​In 1994, Paul underwent heart surgery to fix a congenital mitral heart valve and suffered a heart attack on the operating table.  When he came out of anesthesia, he found the surgeon was sitting by his bed apologizing for having made an error in judgement that resulted in Paul's heart attack.  The surgeon couldn't have been operating on a more gracious and less judgmental person and Paul simply took the news in stride, left his position with the United Church head office in Toronto and both he and Edith moved to Kamloops, where Edith continued to be a full-time minister and Paul recovered his health and worked as a half-time minister at Kamloops United Church.  Both of them retired in 1997 and finally settled into retired life in the waterfront dream home they built in Sooke, B.C.

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In retirement Paul decided to take up the bagpipes, arguably one of the hardest instruments to learn.  Paul's younger brother David had played them growing up and Paul was never one to back down from a challenge. Unbeknownst to Paul, his grandson Ben who was 12 at the time, had made a similar commitment and they ended up learning the bagpipes at the same time. Paul initially assured Ben that their mutual hobby shouldn't be considered a competition between them, as he was retired and had unlimited time to practice.  It look about 3 months before Paul was bemoaning the dexterity and flexibility of young fingers and young mind to learn a new instrument, but Paul remained undeterred. He practiced diligently, ultimately becoming a member of the Sooke Pipes and Drums, playing at all sorts of local events and Highland Games. At one point, Paul was able to march alongside three of his grandsons as part of the massed bands at the Canmore Highland Games. For years, Edith would go for a long walk every day and Paul would often stand in their yard and play bagpipes to help cheer her on. Edith's favourite song played by Paul was Eliza. 

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Paul's creative side was expressed in retirement through carving wooden bowls and trimming a tree in the front yard to increasingly look like Big Bird.  Safety using power tools was one of the few things Paul struggled with, and as the years went on, his fingers grew shorter from various incidents. One such incident included trimming a hedge with a lawnmower.  Sean helped him on that particular occasion.   

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Making homemade wine and beer was something Paul got into in the early 80's, starting in the downstairs bathroom in Saskatoon, eventually moving his fermentation operations into a dedicated room in the newly constructed Sooke house that the building contractors dubbed "The Priest's Wine Room". The honey beer was excellent, the wine was less so and Paul would often take a sip and jokingly remark that it had notes of "I can't believe it's not vinegar" in reference to the old margarine ad (I can't believe it's not butter).  Paul loved barbecuing, catching crabs and making homemade pickles. He and Edith often worked side-by-side in the kitchen creating memorable meals to share with friends that they loved to entertain.

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Paul was amazingly accomplished and had many varied and interesting opportunities in his life.  What made him extraordinary was his humbleness.  He moved through life steadfastly, taking any adversity he encountered in stride and with increasing grace.  In his late 70's, Paul fell and broke his nose, arm and knee, requiring months of healing and rehabilitation.  His general fitness helped him recover fully, and he was proud to be called a model physical therapy patient, but his fitness level alone could not address the pain and discomfort he had to endure. For that, he turned to meditation, focusing on one of the life-guiding phrases his mother had taught him, which was "I can, because I must."

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Paul always had enormous amounts of deep character and personality, but 'grace' was something that grew and flourished within Paul throughout his life.  His guiding tenant was to treat others the way he wanted to be treated - the Golden Rule. He would often say none of us are perfect, so don’t look hard for flaws in the people you love - just love them, unconditionally. It is impossible to describe Paul fully without mentioning his deep and unconditional love for Edith and her love for Paul.  It was a love that very few are lucky enough to experience in life, but they had it in excess.  Paul was expressive in his love, and his family was well aware of how devoted he was as a father and grandfather, intensely invested in the lives of his children and grandchildren. Paul's approach to grandparenting was very hands-on, wrapping grandchildren quickly in his arms and loving them deeply. His grandchildren loved playing chess with him, hitting golf balls into the bay, canoeing, playing music and sharing deep philosophical conversations designed to help them "grow up right". 

 

As an unapologetic problem solver, Paul would spend uncountable hours pondering challenges facing those he loved and trying to come up with helpful solutions. Together, Paul and Edith would team up and agree to sacrifice virtually anything if it would serve to help or ease the burden of a loved one.  He deeply appreciated his friends, and his innate and affable nature ensured they remained friends over both time and distance. ​We were all so lucky to have him in our lives. 

 

Dad was a force of nature. A gentle, loving man who cared deeply about the world and all those living in it. He was strong in character, morality and body until his body finally gave out.  With crumbling backbones from the effects of osteoporosis or "the porosis" as he referred to it, and cracked ribs and hip bones from repeated falls, dad's daily suffering reached a reality that even his mantra of "I can, because I must" just couldn't overcome.  Dad made the decision on September 6th, 2022 to die with dignity, surrounded by loved ones.  We held a funeral for dad WITH dad the morning of September 6th.  We listened to special songs at his request, read (and of course analysed) favourite scripture, laughed over remembered moments from a life well lived and eventually bid farewell to one another. 

 

It was peaceful. It was perfect. It was what he wanted.

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